in the meantime

I never wanted to be one of those girls who's afraid of doing things alone. Over the past few weeks I've realized many things about life. There are times when no one is around. You are left with you and that's it. Friends are off doing other things and family is too far away. Solitude is my only companion.

Fear #1- Sitting Alone:
Now, since last year I've gotten used to going to church by myself. Sabbath was kind of the day everyone kind of went their own ways. So, I learned to get over the fear of sitting alone. At first I would walk into church and frantically look for a familiar face. Now, I walk in and just look for a spot for one.

Fear #2- Eating Out Alone:
Panera. That was going to be the place where I would conquer this fear. Last April, I decided that I go and eat by myself. Not only that, but I wouldn't bring anything with me. No safety book to pretend I'm reading while waiting for my food. No. I would just sit, confidently, until I got my food. Then eat.

Fear #3- Living Alone:
I must say, the first night in my apartment was one of the scariest moments in my life haha. I put a chair under the door. I could hear every noise that was made that night. My body was on high alert. I went over escape plans in my head, just in case something were to happen. Well, I can say now that I sleep more sound at night.

Fear #4: Traveling Alone:
This is my fifth year at Southern. Out of my years here I've never gone downtown by myself (minus driving to the hospitals). Today, I was sitting on my balcony doing devotions. I saw this family packing up the car. It looked like they were off to go somewhere fun. I looked up at the sky and thought to myself, "Jackie, go do something fun." So, with Shortie as my guide (my GPS) I took a trip. Here are the results:


[That's the liberated me on the walking bridge downtown]

Fear #5- Ending up alone:
I am no different than so many single girls out there. The only thing is I don't let fear stop me. It may slow me down sometimes, but fear can debilitate you if you let it.

So, now I'm practicing my Spanish for a half an hour everyday, exercising more, taking advantage of the beautiful Tennessee weather, trying new toppings on my pizza and living my life. Just me and Jesus :)