in the meantime

I went for my post-op visit today. After getting my stitches removed, I got the news that I am cancer free! Before my visit I was thinking a lot. I know so many people around the world get a diagnosis that changes their lives forever. I am so incredibly thankful for my health and that this is over. I get more and more energy by the day and my battle wounds are healing nicely. I have been so encouraged and strengthend by the prayers of my friends and family. Praise be to the Lord God Almighty who gave us life by sending His Son as a baby to take the death I deserve. I have been humbled this Christmas. I hope the same for you.

Merry Christmas!

As he stared at me tears rolled down my cheeks. He tried to be rational with me telling me that He would try everything he could to save my ovary, but all I could do was cry. I didn't really cry out of regret or fear, I mostly cried because I felt so helpless. The nurse became the patient.

All my life I've struggled with the fear of losing control. Through the fight with self, Jesus conquered that part of my life. But, while I was laying on a stretcher going through all the coulda, shoulda, woulda's in my head I realized, I have never had control.

My surgeon was the same doctor who told me four months ago that I would be fine and that it would go away on its own. He misdiagnosed me and cost me a lot of pain. But, as I look back on this semester, I'm glad he was wrong. I would never want to take away the experience of finding my way back to Jesus. Satan tempted me as I laid on that stretcher to doubt God's leading and blame a Doctor for his mistakes. In my mind I said a prayer, "God, I have no regrets. You got this."

Group-think:
1. the practice of approaching problems or issues as matters that are best dealt with by consensus of a group rather than by individuals acting independently; conformity.

2. the lack of individual creativity, or of a sense of personal responsibility, that is sometimes characteristic of group intereaction.


Do churches suffer from group-think?

My dad told me once in a conversation, "If people understood what they were praying for when they asked for Jesus to come soon, then He would have already come by now."
I chewed on that for a while and realized how often I don't take responsibility for the Gospel.

On the radio, the DJ asked a question, "Do you think it's alright to pay over $300 for a concert ticket if it's a once in a lifetime event?" One man called in and his response was this, "I asked my pastor once because I was feeling guilty about all the money I was spending on myself. My pastor told me that as long as I'm helping other people sometimes it's alright to enjoy God's blessings."

God has blessed us. We know a truth and gives us hope and encouragement during life's trials. We sit there and enjoy God's blessings selfishly and make them our idols. But we take comfort, because everyone else is doing the same thing. So, who do we follow? The group or Jesus?

There is a once in a lifetime event coming and our ticket has already been paid for. What if, instead of basking in the thought of Salvation while others perish, we show them the way, the truth, the life in Jesus Christ.

Change your Church-think into Jesus-Think.

Today, wounds resurfaced that I thought were healed. Ouch. Sometimes I think that heart wounds are never completely healed. Over time the pain lessons, but when we're reminded, the sharp stinging and tears return.

Like every other person on this earth, I have been hurt. I have wounds that cut to the core and tempt me to never trust my heart to another. My issues with trust for a time separated me from God. For so long, I thought that Jesus would accidentally drop my heart like so many others have. I tried to create a heart of stone inside that was impenetrable to pain. But, after a while the heaviness in my chest made it harder to live, because I lost life.

Life without love is nothing. Love is what makes relationships worthwhile. True love, God love, is what heals heart wounds. Instead of hardening your heart, soften it to the things of God.

If God let his heart be broken for me to reconciled unto him, then it is worth for me to risk the same.

"We need to open the heart to Christ. We need much firmer faith and more fervent devotion. We need to die to self, and in mind and heart to cherish an adoring love for our Saviour. When we will seek the Lord with all the heart we shall find Him, and our hearts will be all aglow with His love. Self will sink into insignificance, and Jesus will be all and in all to the soul."-- EGW, In Heavely Places, p 87.