in the meantime

I don't think many people would disagree that relationships are difficult. Somehow we find ourselves in these relationships confused as to what is going on in these deep, dark waters.

In research class we've been learning about different types of research studies. One aspect of research I found very applicable to relationships was a term called causality. Causality is a term used to desc ribe the relationship between a cause and its effect. So, the independent variable has a certain effect on the dependent variable. Now, in some cases researchers use probability to determine how likely (x) will effect (y) in a certain way. Then, the sticky stuff happens. See sometimes life gets complicated and there are more than one cause that is influencing the effect, which is known as multicausality. This should be taken into consideration as researchers analyze how (x) effects (y) because there can be other (x)'s effecting (y) and it may not have anything to do with the original (x).

My research teacher says we do research every day. I think this may be true when we interact with people. We determine the probability of getting a certain reaction if we do a certain thing for someone. But, when the response isn't what we anticipated we get disappointed. Then maybe we start rationalizing that perhaps the person was having a bad day, tired, stressed, etc. and maybe it wasn't me that they were negatively reacting to.

But, then the thought comes to mind. What if it was me they were reacting to?

Perhaps as much as we focus on others effect on us, we should think about our effect on others. When we do have a bad day, act cold towards someone, or don't say hi as we pass by people, are we influencing others in a negative way?

Some people would probably argue with me that as long as we have good intentions then we aren't responsible for how people take us. But, I believe Christ has a better way. His influence enveloped those in His presence and pointed them to the Father. No matter the circumstance, Christ was consistently putting others in the forefront of His mind.

So, maybe you can ask yourself this question the next time you interact with a stranger or a friend, What is my effect on others?

So, for the past few weeks my mind was very focused on working on my testimony. Mostly because it was probably the most fearful experience of my life, but God truly worked a miracle in a huge way. It's amazing how the Holy Spirit just gives you a calm demeanor even though on the inside you're trembling like a leaf.I feel so honored to have had the opportunity to share with so many people what God has done for me.

But, now that the week is over, it's back to life. The tests, quizzes, homework, papers, and stress. Like a tidal wave last night came the uncertainty of the future. I don't know what God is leading me to do after graduation. I'm sure most people would think "Well if you're doing nursing then be a nurse..." but I've never been one for the whole Hospital nursing bit. I really want to help people and not just physically. So, as thoughts are scrambling in my mind about what my purpose is etc. I realized something.

Last week I shared with Southern the darkest parts of my past. Things I never thought I'd be able to share with more than 5 people. My purpose in life is to testify every day of God's love for sinners like me. Maybe I don't know the answers to the big questions in life, but I do know the God who has led me this far. Like a good Father I know He'll hold my hand through it all.

How much of the sermon is for the preacher? I have to say that while working on my testimony for Week of Prayer I've been challenged in ways that I wasn't expecting. Many people think that sharing your testimony isn't that hard, I mean it's your story right? That's the problem. It's my story, a story that I can't hide behind and say it wasn't me who made all those mistakes and bad choices. But as I look at my testimony, I see very clearly that I owe my salvation to my savior. The one who died for me while I was yet still a sinner.

What's your testimony?

1. philadelphia:

"Philadelphia isn't just a city that lies between the shadows of New York and Washington, it is a city where the Eagles are the topic of dinner conversation year round. It is where a meal consists of a cheesesteak, Natty light, soft pretzels,
and Tasty Kakes for dessert. It is where there is a Wawa on every corner, and you look forward to the 1st day of Spring when Rita's gives out free "wooder" ice. It is where you know it's a hoagie, not a sub and the shore, not the beach. Most importantly, where everyone is brothers and it is ok to say hello to someone you don't know if they are a birds fan. That is Philadelphia, the city of Brotherly Love... Outsiders will never understand."


After going to Southern for 4 1/2 years and working on my pronunciation of water, I have to say that you can't take the city out of the girl. It's been nice to be back home and enjoy the Eagles beating the Cowboys :)

I went for my post-op visit today. After getting my stitches removed, I got the news that I am cancer free! Before my visit I was thinking a lot. I know so many people around the world get a diagnosis that changes their lives forever. I am so incredibly thankful for my health and that this is over. I get more and more energy by the day and my battle wounds are healing nicely. I have been so encouraged and strengthend by the prayers of my friends and family. Praise be to the Lord God Almighty who gave us life by sending His Son as a baby to take the death I deserve. I have been humbled this Christmas. I hope the same for you.

Merry Christmas!

As he stared at me tears rolled down my cheeks. He tried to be rational with me telling me that He would try everything he could to save my ovary, but all I could do was cry. I didn't really cry out of regret or fear, I mostly cried because I felt so helpless. The nurse became the patient.

All my life I've struggled with the fear of losing control. Through the fight with self, Jesus conquered that part of my life. But, while I was laying on a stretcher going through all the coulda, shoulda, woulda's in my head I realized, I have never had control.

My surgeon was the same doctor who told me four months ago that I would be fine and that it would go away on its own. He misdiagnosed me and cost me a lot of pain. But, as I look back on this semester, I'm glad he was wrong. I would never want to take away the experience of finding my way back to Jesus. Satan tempted me as I laid on that stretcher to doubt God's leading and blame a Doctor for his mistakes. In my mind I said a prayer, "God, I have no regrets. You got this."

Group-think:
1. the practice of approaching problems or issues as matters that are best dealt with by consensus of a group rather than by individuals acting independently; conformity.

2. the lack of individual creativity, or of a sense of personal responsibility, that is sometimes characteristic of group intereaction.


Do churches suffer from group-think?

My dad told me once in a conversation, "If people understood what they were praying for when they asked for Jesus to come soon, then He would have already come by now."
I chewed on that for a while and realized how often I don't take responsibility for the Gospel.

On the radio, the DJ asked a question, "Do you think it's alright to pay over $300 for a concert ticket if it's a once in a lifetime event?" One man called in and his response was this, "I asked my pastor once because I was feeling guilty about all the money I was spending on myself. My pastor told me that as long as I'm helping other people sometimes it's alright to enjoy God's blessings."

God has blessed us. We know a truth and gives us hope and encouragement during life's trials. We sit there and enjoy God's blessings selfishly and make them our idols. But we take comfort, because everyone else is doing the same thing. So, who do we follow? The group or Jesus?

There is a once in a lifetime event coming and our ticket has already been paid for. What if, instead of basking in the thought of Salvation while others perish, we show them the way, the truth, the life in Jesus Christ.

Change your Church-think into Jesus-Think.